If you think every post that comes up is a sign that I'm on, you're wrong. I'm giving a good estimate of 90% of the posts are queue. While I did say this is my (poppydicks's) nonporn Tumblr, this does not mean I won't be blogging NSFW stuff at all.
In the 1960s, comic books took a turn for the team. In an effort to boost sales, comic book artist like Jack Kirby and Stan Lee combined favorite superheroes into teams, creating interesting dynamics and, of course, bigger battles. DC Comics came up with the Justice League, a crime fighting unit of blue bloods that emulated the put together finesse of the Ivy Leagues. Meanwhile, Marvel threw together six of its most popular, dysfunctional characters into what became the Avengers. Basically, the the Avengers is the angry, loud, awesome dysfunctional family that you both fear and love. Basically, the Avengers are better.
Iron Man is everything an aspiring nerd should, well, aspire towards. Genius, playboy, millionaire Tony Stark was born a normal human with an incredible mental and financial capacity to do good. The 2008 and 2010 films “Iron Man” and “Iron Man 2,” respectively provide needed exposition for a once relatively obscure character. After a piece of shrapnel embeds itself in Stark’s chest, a powerful electric generator called the arc reactor keeps him alive. Thankfully for the plotline, the generator lazer powers his super suit as well, which is not only an aesthetically pleasing color, but allows him to fly and shoot missiles out of his body. He is clearly the most Batman-like of the group, but lacks Bruce Wayne’s perpetually solemn personality and thankfully, a sidekick like Robin. Instead, while Stark saves the world, he combines Gambit’s charm with Deadpool’s wit into a personality that can only be described as killer. Basically, Iron Man is perfect.
Captain America is a superhuman, but not in the shiny, supernatural way Superman is. No, Captain America was born Steve Rogers, a puny weakling with a heart of gold. In the 2011 blockbuster “Captain America: The First Avenger,” Rogers is injected with the Super Soldier Serum (points for alliteration) and saves the world, but more specifically, America. A quick flash forward later, and Rogers is thawed from being cryogenically frozen and lands in Time Square, circa 2012. There, he is greeted by S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nick Fury, who approaches him about joining a brand-new superhero team. Evidently, Cap agree.
Essentially, the Hulk is the angry green thing. Believe me, you can’t miss him. He’s right there. His normal state is Bruce Banner, a mild mannered scientist who worked on making humans immune gamma radiation. Like the Fantastic 4, science completely backfired and turned Banner into the aforementioned angry green thing. Like all superheroes, Banner saves the world, gets the girl and gets to transform back into Edward Norton/Mark Ruffalo when he can calm his shit. That’s more than can be said for the Thing. In the 2008 reboot of “The Hulk” (in which he’s played by Edward Norton), Banner saves the world and manages to control his Hulk-transformations. At the end of the film, General Ross is approached by Tony Stark to create a team of superhumans. I don’t want to give anything away, but the team — it’s the Avengers.
We first meet SHIELD agent Natasha Romanova — codename Black Widow — as Tony Stark’s frighteningly competent assistant. Now she’s applying her super-assasin skills to the Avenger’s Initiative, along with longtime SHIELD partner Hawkeye. Though she hasn’t yet had her own movie and has no superpowers to speak of, Romanova — played by Scarlett Johansson — holds her own with icy professionalism in “The Avengers”.
God of thunder, son of Odin, Thor is basically an alien beamed down from outer space. The 2011 adaptation of his life, appropriately called “Thor,” is essentially a coming of age story — as a punishment for being an entitled jackass, Odin sends his son to the best place to grow up — Earth. There, he has to reclaim his hammer and, you guessed it, save the world. The film concludes with S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nick Fury asking Thor to identify a mysterious, powerful object. Undoubtedly, it will play a part in the coming movie.
Of the Avengeres, Hawkeye is one of the only two to not get a separate movie. In addition to this sad lot, he is truly just an average guy, with the unerring but ultimately not exciting ability to shoot arrows really really straight. He’s basically Katniss Everdeen. In another series of unfortunate events, his real name is Clint Barton.